Dear Shirley and Steve,
My husband and I have been married for almost 3 years and have been together for nearly 5 years. We've have and have always had a great relationship, we talk, we laugh, we enjoy one another. Sexually however, over the past year things have been a little rough. I've lost my desire to have sex and I don't know why. Honestly, the only desire I have at bed time is going straight to sleep. This in turn makes my husband feel "neglected" as he likes to put it. He turns into the world's most saddest man and starts to mope through everything. He mopes when he's getting ready for work in the morning, he mopes when he's cutting the lawn, he mopes when he's taking out the trash, and he mopes when he's eating dinner. It starts to get annoying when I see our sons trying to interact with him when he's in one of his "moods" because there's no life in his voice or his actions. It's like he's a zombie, and of course, the kids have no idea what's up with dad. It's not like we're NOT having sex, we have sex maybe 3 or 4 times a month, but it's not enough to keep him satisfied and happy. Bottom line, should I just pretend that I'm in the mood and have sex anyway to keep him from feeling sad and mopey? I love my husband and it's not my intent to make him feel bad, but I don't know what else to do. We've talked about this before, he knows my sexual desire is minimal at best, but it still doesn't keep him from feeling neglected.